The Other Side

Hello I am going to talk to you about something everyone should know about.
You know those people who are always so optimistic and hopeful that it just honestly makes you sick? Those people that seem to always have a smile on their face and seem to somehow know that it's all gonna be okay? Hi! You're looking right at that person. I've always been the type of person that could see things that others couldn't. I just knew things that others had doubts about...As a kid I never really had anyone to talk to or spend time with. I had family of course but they would all be doing things on their own. So I had to depend on myself. I began using my imagination to come up with friends and then I realized there's a whole other world, in our minds. It became the gateway of my happiness, it brought me peace to think that I could do anything or go anywhere I wanted. I had tons of imaginary friends and even created a cool character named Boxia...she is a box but she can do anything you want her to do. I remember imagination was my escape from the loneliness...I'll admit when I was younger loneliness was a struggle. It's something that I tend to deal with even to this day. I tend to hideaway because I don't trust that others are truly there for me...I mean I spent years on my own learning to depend on only myself. You might be asking what does this have to do with the topic: So many have this idea that optimistic people live in some magical world where everything turns out perfect and they are blinded from seeing the bad...they aren't living in reality...well maybe that is some what true. Believing in hope isn't about creating some magical fairytale land...it is about escaping from a very painful world and choosing to have peace. I promise you I have had many painful moments and heartbreak and I have felt the pain, all of it, but that is why I must hope. Because if I didn't hope, the pain would consume me and take my life. I will not let it take my life because I cannot control my situation but I can control how it affects me. Will it ruin my life? Tear me apart? Will it change me? Make me stronger? That is my choice. That is why we hope, that is why we remain optimistic, because if we don't...it will take our lives and that is a battle I am not willing to lose. After hearing this you can make your choice. You can choose to believe that optimism and hope is being brainwashed to believe everything is good, or you can grab it and appreciate it for what it is...an escape from the pain and claiming your life back!

When They Don't Love

We all want to be loved in the way that we want to be loved but what happens when others don't/can't love us that way? What do we do? For this topic I'm gonna get a bit personal. I have something called C- PTSD which is trauma caused over a period of time such as childhood. My parents love me and theirs no doubt but they haven't been emotionally dependable therefore I suffer from co-dependency. Loneliness is something I struggle with because I've never really been able to depend on anybody which makes it very hard. For me this makes loving others very hard. "what do you do then?" you may be thinking. It definitely takes time and patience and a willing attitude. I have to desire to change the way I am and how I handle my situation and that's what you have to do. You have control of how you treat others but you cant control how they treat you, so just love them! And know they mean well.

When Love Isn't Enough

We've all faced it...The spark isn't there anymore. What do we do when our marriage,  relationship, or friendship loses the connection? When our love isn't the same anymore and doesn't seem to be enough? In these situations we begin to think it's us, that were not good enough anymore. That is 100% a lie. We try what ever we can but nothing seems to be enough. That's because your not doing the one thing you should be doing:

turn to each other in this time. When things get tough, that's when you need to hold on. It can seem scary to stay when things change but its what you have to do. If you're life depended on you winning a game, you wouldn't quit so easily. It's very easy to hit the end game button but in marriage and relationships, that button is cryptonite. Never give up on what has been put in place. Be committed to staying committed and fighting through whatever you are facing. Quitting is never going to change things or make them better.

Holding On When all Hope Seems Lost

Todays post goes out to all those couples and families who are struggling through a difficult time and feel all hope is lost. What do you do when their seems to be no light in view? When all hope seems lost? How do you hold on? You might read this and wonder, "yeah how?" but there is good news! There is a way...Just follow these steps

1. remind yourself that hope isn't lost. Hope is never lost, only our sight to see it.

2. Remember HOPE - Hold On Pain Ends

3. Before turning anywhere, turn to God through prayer!

4. use the bible

5. Cry, cry...and cry some more. Many people think crying is a sign of weakness but it is not. It can feel so much better to let some tears out, so don't hold back

6. Patience. This can be very tough but it is so important. It can take a lot out of someone to be patient even for a day but once you can learn to do it, it gets a bit easier

7. Acceptance. Accept that it is a difficult time right now and the road wont be easy. It will be hard, but you can do it!

8. Confidence. You absolutely MUST have confidence in your place. You are stuck in this situation and you cant change it, so make the best of it and stay strong.

9. find friends! You need support. Talk to family or find a friend who can be with you to give you company or comfort you.

10. Talk...you must talk to somebody about what you are going through. Whether you decide to write a story/blog to encourage other people (like this), or turn to family/friends for help|advice, you need to talk about the situation you are going through and how you are feeling. Are you depressed? Sad? Stressed? Scared? You need to express this to someone. You can either write it down or find someone to talk to, but you must find some way.

I really hope this has helped you. It can really help to have a group that is going through the same or similar thing you are. Find a group online or contact us. We are always available


and remember...together We Can Handle This!

Non - Christian family | be the example

Today in this post I will be discussing, living in a family of non believers. It can be tough to follow Christ when your in a Christian family but to follow him in a non Christian family can be even more tough. How do you keep it up when everyone else around you doesn't believe the same thing? That's definitely a tough one but there is actually a really big piece of advice I can give.

1. The Big One | be the example

The best thing you can do is Be The Example. Now, I know you're thinking "how can I be an example if no one wants to hear what I have to say?" Its not about getting attention but if you do what is right then it can encourage others to do the same. I know this is harder than it seems but people can see a lot just by your love. God doesn't want you to turn your whole family into Christians (that's his job) but he does want you to show them the right way by showing love. Another good way to show them is to show joy in times of sorry and problem.

A lot of this stuff is very hard to follow but if you ever need anyone to talk to or need any advice, please email us! We're looking for more topics to give advice on so please give us ideas by commenting or emailing us.

Passions and differences

Some of us have differences and things that we like that others don't. Sometimes we have a certain view and most people seem to disagree with it. It can be a challenge to keep "walking the same way" when others judge us for it. They give us reasons why it is wrong. Here is some tips to take into consideration when it seems like no one agrees with your view.

1. figure out why; see their perspective
sometimes people will disagree with your view because it may not be a logical view. Try to look at it their way and find out why they see things the way they do.

2. know the facts
many people say "know what you believe and why you believe it" and this is a very true quote. If you have a certain view that you want to share with other people but you don't know why you see things that way then it does no good. Example: if someone came up with a plan than their friend (s) would ask them why they think their plan would work. If they couldn't find any reasons to back it up then no one would believe them and see it their way.

3. deal with it
sometimes people just aren't going to see things the way you do no matter what you try. Sometimes you have to just keep seeing it the way you do and let others see it that way.

4. find others who are the same
So I know that last one sucked. No one ever wants to hear "Just Deal With It" but there is good news! All hope isn't lost because you can try to find others who support your perspective. Try to find people who see it the way you do. Remember: not all people will see it your way and they do not have to. It may be hard to find someone but don't get discouraged.

5. perspective: be the example
If you want someone to see things the way you do then you have to show them why they should see it that way. Example:
God has allowed me to learn that everything that happens has a reason and we shouldn't be discouraged when bad happens because its part of his plan. There are times when I stay positive even though everyone around me is grumpy or negative. It can be very hard to keep your way when others are doing the opposite but its about being the example and doing what you know is right.

Don't ever give up your perspective just because everyone else sees it differently. Please email us if you ever want to talk or have any questions. We are always available! Good luck dear friend.

Overcoming Challenges

In life and in relationships we face many different challenges. Our challenges make up our situation. Many people say they have a "situation" which simply means their going through a rough patch. Our normal response to this time in life is to flee and run away. We find another man who'd be either to be with or we quit our job cause it's too much to handle. Whatever the struggle is, one thing you never do is leave it. You may think getting away will get rid of all your problems but it doesn't. Praying is one really good way to get through it. Finding a good friend who you can trust is also another really good way but remember! Finding a friend isn't always the most reliable answer. We're always better off turning to God because other people have lives too. Finding something new to do can also help. Look for a completely new job or volunteer some place you would have never thought about. One of the worst things you can do is keep the fact that things are difficult a secret. If your married tell your spouse, if your a child tell your parents or a sibling, if you're a parent then find another trustworthy adult. These ways are affective! Let us know when ever you're struggling. Let us know if any of these helped you, we love to hear your stories!!
                                                -Jean Winters